“[A] healing crisis is a process in which the body undergoes an intense period of cleansing and rebuilding. It is called a ‘healing’ crisis because the body is healing itself and becoming stronger. It is referred to as a ‘crisis’ because the symptoms can be dramatic and rather unpleasant during this time. Because the healing crisis is accompanied by unpleasant symptoms it is often mistaken as a sickness. In reality, it is just the opposite. It is a process in which the body is overcoming ill health and becoming healthier and stronger.”
If you and your partner are working on building and strengthening your relationship, a healing crisis may occur. This is because when there is a true connection between two people anything that affects one individual will undoubtedly affect the other. In relationships, it is hard to imagine that a purely individual healing crisis can occur. Relationships tend to seek equilibrium, and if one person is off balance, the other is probably acting as a counterweight.
When working through a healing crisis, communication remains important. At the same time, so does space. Each person is going through their own emotional roller coaster. Balance will not be easy to find at that time.
1. One or both of you recently had a significant life experience or event. This experience could be the result of just about anything. The important thing is the significance of the event. The event could have been positive or negative, or a mixture of the two.
2. A change is occurring in your life. This could be a career change, a geographical move, a lifestyle change, or something completely different. Perhaps one person is giving up smoking, or is trying to improve in some other area. Depending on how deep-rooted the behavior being changed will determine the intensity of the healing crisis.
3. You have goals that you want to achieve. Many couples set goals together, and all couples should set goals at some point in a committed relationship. For some the goal might be financial stability, others might simply want to raise a family, and some might be trying to deepen the intimacy in their relationship. Whatever the goal, be prepared to identify and experience a healing crisis. Being goal-oriented sometimes means going through a pain period. This is equally true for relationships.