Chris has a daughter that lives in Oregon. Sometimes, Chris and Carrie work on the same show together. When they aren't working together, Chris sometimes goes up to Oregon for 3-4 weeks at a time, where he installs drywall and hangs out with his kid on the weekends.
SHE SAID: Carrie
It's never easy to see him go. It's totally made worse during parts of my cycle. Sometimes our schedules conflict, and we don't talk for a day or two. My work is at least 12 hours a day, and sometimes more, so it's really easy to look up and realize it's 1am and he's already in bed.
This is where communication becomes so key. It's not hard to send a text or a photo with your smartphone. I try to check in at least once a day. We also talk on the phone. We often talk about nothing – but knowing he's there and that he made time for me is wonderful. The other part of it is that I know that Chris and I are solid. The only way we would break up is if one of us cheated, which is not going to happen on either end.
I'm fairly certain I will never find someone who loves me as much as he does.
For me, communication is an easy one. I'm very vocal about my feelings. When there's something that bugs me, I speak up. When he says or does something I don't like, I speak up. When my life is hard and I need to say so, I speak up. We talk about everything I need to talk about, because I bring it up. Sometimes, we have to visit a topic multiple times, but we eventually work it out. I also try to put myself in his shoes and own up to it when I'm the asshole - that's an important one. He can't always be the asshole, or he won't want to discuss anything ever. I've found that when I admit fault, it makes it easier for him to do so as well.
The other thing I need in spades is patience. Just because I like to talk everything out, it doesn't mean Chris likes to. I have to remember to give him the time he needs to process what I have to say, and then to respond. I have to remember when he is up in Oregon, he has to be a dad as well as himself, and that puts me in the number two seat – and I have to be ok with that. I sometimes have to wait until he is available and not have a bad attitude because of it.
This leads me to my final point, kindness. Being kind in my demeanor, in my communications, and in the way I argue or speak up, is the most important part. It's made easier because sometimes we can't talk instantly. Taking some time to think about my issue sometimes shows me the issue isn't really as important as it originally seemed.
Choosing my words carefully is very important. I find that usually, once I think about his side of it, and try to remove anger from how I feel, I can be kinder in my communication and we work through things much more quickly, and we both feel better about it.
One last thing I find is important is not sitting around moping. When we are apart, we are both allowed and encouraged to have fun. Fun doesn't shut down just because we are in different states. I'm allowed to live life to its fullest – just as he is. Besides, it gives us more to talk about when we are on the phone!